I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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