tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize