You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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