barbara walters just said penis...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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