How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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