I'm lost and stupid without you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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