Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
