genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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