Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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