whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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