Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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