i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize