Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
