bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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