U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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