he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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