i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
