matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
