My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize