So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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