i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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