she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
