What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
