as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have fence marks all over my body
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
