ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize