I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
