i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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