Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
