If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
