I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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