quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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