she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
