I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
