she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
