This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
