is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
