What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
