Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
