the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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