You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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