belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
