i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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