Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
