I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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