Where is the hickey?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
