I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
