Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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