Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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