I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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