covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize