She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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