This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
