Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
