My nipple is on Facebook.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
be right there i have to get my cape
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
