Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
