I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
