This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
