what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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