I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
