as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
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I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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