he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize