...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
