You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
there is glitter all over my balls
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