she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
