Define "chronic" masturbator.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how drunk are you?
Several
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
