Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
