Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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